Saturday, October 22, 2011

One About Me

This is a post without Etsy angst, or the thrill of new supplies and the lust for moreandmore, or even slowly improving pictures of my wares.

This is a post about me. Not what I do. But who I am.

There’s something magical and elusive in defining oneself. I’ve been my constant companion for nearly 24 years, and it seems that I really should know myself rather well by this time. And yet, every time I try to sit down and share just exactly who I am, the attempt is only a feeble mockery. Every person has enumerable facets, some larger and some just teeny glittering winks of brightness.

Here is yet another attempt. 

I went through my Photo Albums and arbitrarily chose pictures that made me feel a little bit more myself. You’ve got though pictures, too, right? Something about them just captures a tiny glint of your own essence.

Dahlias are my favorite flower. They come in the most gorgeous colors and loads of sizes, and they are so unique! These are my very own dahlias that I grew last year. (Sidenote: All the pictures that aren't specifically OF me are taken BY me.)

I'm in my second year of vet school. I long to be a small animal veterinarian and work with brachycephalic dogs - ones with squashed-lookin' faces. This pic is me doing my first neuter on a stray cat in a clinic on the island of Rarotonga in the South Pacific. Without gloves. Because I'm hardcore like that.

 I'm an introvert, meaning that crowds of people that I don't know make me very tired, and I treasure a group of close friends. It's tough living in a new city and state, devoid of the meshwork of support that I'm used to having at my fingertips. My dearest are all over the country now, and it sucks. Each one of the girls in this picture now live in a different state from the others. I'm building up friendships - always so painfully slowly - in my new town now, but I miss the easy familiarity of old friends.

I'm an open minded woman with a set of deep, personal convictions. I never want what I believe to become stale or ill-fitting; I need to keep my ideals as alive and changing as I am. I believe in treating people with respect and kindness because we are all everlasting splendors, as C.S. Lewis says. "There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors."
 I believe in a world of beauty alongside deep pain and loss. I have accepted that these will live together in riotous disharmony until the end of all things, and the beginning of unimaginable new things.

I believe that Science and Religion are brothers. It has never been a battle between the two, but rather a battle to align them harmoniously. Science is my livelihood, and God is interwoven throughout the fabric of my life. They are impossible to separate.

 I'm a passionate person, roiling with humor and hope, dreams and desires. I love to create, to feel that part of me has been transferred definitively into the corporeal world. I know what I want and then I take the steps to achieve it - after some muddling around and hem-hawing.
 I realize that I started out with very superficial and specific factoids and ended with very abstract and ill-defined thoughts. And I have no idea what sort of a collage I've created for you or if it even vaguely resembles me. I may wake up in the morning and hate the whole thing, but for now - here you go.

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